Why have we outsourced our well-being when everything we need to know, we already have?
I think I'm only recently realizing how uncommon following intuition is these days. Maybe that's a generalization and I, admittedly, can't prove that assumption but it sure seems that way. I might blame the inundation of media and how "plugged in" most people are to news and different social media platforms for creating so much noise that we can't even hear ourselves anymore. I might also blame being away from nature as a culprit; living in cities, working in buildings for most hours of the day and rarely stepping out barefoot on the ground, putting a hand on a tree, and breathing fresh air.
I've experienced this phenomenon when I get caught up on my phone for too many hours in a day, or I haven't been outside enough. I feel less connected to myself and my inner knowing. I notice I feel more agitated, I'm less patient, I'm quick to anger at pretty minor things. That's when I know I've disconnected and it's time to touch base with myself again. All it takes is taking a seat, usually cross legged on the floor ( I like to be close to the earth as I can), palms facing up to receive, and closing my eyes. Sometimes it takes a few breaths before I settle and my thoughts calm down, and my heart rate slows. As it does, all the chatter in my mind subsides and quiet is there, waiting. That's where I can hear myself, and where the greatest peace I know lives. It's where the answers to my questions are.
I don't know why I am this way, maybe it's my upbringing, growing up on an acreage where I spent most hours in a day outside playing in the ground. I feel like I use nature and the earth as my battery charger and can't imagine being out of touch with it for very long. The lure of the internet and everything on my phone is strong and I admit I can get lost on it sometimes, but when I pull out of it I feel drained, bored, tired, and like part of myself was taken. Like I was tricked into seeing things without my permission, I was followed and manipulated, observed and hijacked. It's so easy to get caught up in other people's stuff and not even realize that you don't even know your own perspective anymore because you're filled to the brim with other people's thoughts and opinions. Losing touch with what you actually feel, what you actually know.
The thing is, I know that my body is designed with epic intelligence. Think about it: nature is inherently intelligent. I seeks equilibrium, it changes, adapts, heals, learns, and strengthens. Our human bodies are nature and we have all the inherent intelligence within us, we're just this weird anomaly of beings who think we can outsmart that nature. Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I acknowledge the phenomenal accomplishments our thinking minds have brought to life. The things humans have created, invented, and discovered are incredible and I by no means intend to crap all over it. But what I do have a problem with is what I see as a great imbalance in so much of humanity, which is the handing over of our innate knowledge to this computerized, artificial intelligence. How else is it possible that we are in the collective position we are in, right now, otherwise?
I walked in to a grocery store the other day and at the entrance was a sign about getting flu shots. It read: "Get your flu shot. It's your best defence against the flu". I'm sorry, but what? Bodies that are healthy are the best defence against the flu. Sunlight, adequate hydration, movement, and good nutrition are the best defence against the flu. This medicalization of everything has taken us away from our true nature. Our intuition. When I read a sign like that I'm baffled and I feel hurt that that's the commonly accepted narrative. Where did we stray so far away from our natural way of being? Science and medicine have their place, 100% and I don't deny or reject that. But it's like everyone is wearing blinders and all they can see is the source of their well being as a thing that can be given through a syringe and the reality is that if we'd just get back to our nature we'd be so much healthier.
When I say back to our nature I don't mean every person needs to go live in a cabin in the woods. I know everyone has different preferences and that's wonderful, I love that. What I want is to see people tuning back into themselves. Stop looking in every direction other than inwards for a few moments every day and check in with that YOU, yourself, needs. I know why you look outside. It's simple: you're afraid. You're afraid to look in and truly listen to your gut because what your gut has to say could be very disruptive. It might tell you that you're in the wrong marriage. It might tell you that you hate the career you've invested your whole life to. It might show you all your worst fears. Okay? It probably will. That's been my experience with doing deep dives inwards. The first bit is the hardest because your gut doesn't lie to you. Hear that again: your gut does not lie to you. Ever. You know what lies to you? Your head.
Your head lies. Your head talks you out of listening to your gut all the time. It gives all the reasons, does all the lists, the pros the cons, the deducting and reasoning. It looks at statistics and chooses evidence to support its position. It soothes anxiety by convincing you that if you just have another glass of wine or another cigarette (or vape, since that's what the kids are doing these days) you'll be less bothered by that niggling, nudging feeling in your gut that's telling you something is off. It goes to every length possible to keep you from listening to your truth because it might be uncomfortable. Now, it's totally your choice if you want to live your life that way, it's not my place to tell anyone what to do. With that said though, I want to offer insight into the alternative.
What if you listened to that whispering voice? What if you started slowly and listened when you had a feeling about something? Practicing with seemingly meaningless feelings like a feeling you should take a different route on your run or drive to work. You probably won't know why you did it, and it doesn't matter, it's just about giving your intuition a little bit of credit for the sake of it. Maybe the sunrise is extra beautiful on this alternate route. Maybe you find 20 bucks lying on the ground. Who knows; just pay attention. As you practice, you'll start to notice more feelings. You'll notice if you're energized or drained after being with different people or by doing different activities. You might start to see patterns, noticing numbers (think 11:11 or 12:34). It might seem inconsequential, but the more you follow your intuition, the more consequential it becomes. And, by the way, your gut will never lead you somewhere you're not supposed to be. I believe that with everything I am. That doesn't mean the path will always be easy, in fact it might really suck sometimes because you might have some undoing to do (I certainly did). But with my gut as my North Star, I've never felt like I was off track. Even with really hard things like breaking up an engagement, quitting lucrative jobs, or refusing to get a certain shot.
My best friend and I had a conversation not long ago about my decision about something and she said,
"I don't know, I guess you and I make decisions differently".
It kind of struck me because I hadn't thought about it that way, but she wasn't wrong. The way I make my decisions is almost purely on feeling and, when I thought more about it I realized many examples of it. One of the funniest ones I can think of is when I was moving into a new apartment and I'd gone and looked at a place. Afterwards I was telling someone about it and that I'd decided to move in, and he asked me what kind of floors it had. And I honestly couldn't remember. He asked me another question about what it looked like and I couldn't answer that one either, so he asked,
"Did you even see that place?!"
And I had to laugh because I didn't go in to see the place with my eyes as much as I went to see it with my heart and my senses. It felt good, it felt right, it felt like where I should be so I picked it.
I'm not going to sit here and say that everything I've "picked" has been good. I've made decisions that really weren't good, too. But the thing is, even as I was picking bad things and going with it, I knew better. My instincts and guts were screaming at me that certain things were really, really out of alignment and I chose to shove those voices down and muffle them with everything I could. And, consequently, I suffered. Mentally, to be sure and also, physically. So here's a fun thing, I can ignore my gut as much as I want to but the cost is high. Mental and emotional struggle is one thing and, I think, the "easier" consequence to overlook. But if you think there is no physical repercussion for ignoring your intuition too, you're mistaken. Our bodies listen to our thoughts. If our thoughts are negative, heavy, or burdened our bodies will mirror that. The good news is the flip side is also true. When my thoughts are light, loving and aligned my body will mirror that instead.
This blog is written from the bottom of my heart as both encouragement and as a plea for the greater collective, to please listen to your gut. Listen to your inner intelligence. You have it, I promise. Everyone does. Your gut knows what you need better than a news announcement, better than someone on TV, or instagram; better than your family member or friend. It is not selfish to listen to yourself and to look after yourself the way that feels right to you. It might not always be easy and it might feel lonely sometimes or isolating because in the climate we find ourselves in currently, to speak or feel differently than the majority is, frankly, a little scary. I know. Maybe it's a leap of faith to trust your gut, and I can only tell you how it feels to make the jump and what it feels like when the universe catches you. Words don't do it justice because it's an experience that feels cosmic. I can tell you it's scary as fuck and then it's like everything snaps into place and you have this inexplicable sense of knowing. Knowing you're looked after, knowing it'll come together and knowing that your higher self, your intuition, your gut...it only wants what's best for you and it only will take you to incredible places. I just want that feeling for everyone. The feeling of reclaiming sovereignty over your own health and well being. Of feeling empowered and worthy. I want that for everyone.